{"version":"https://jsonfeed.org/version/1","title":"A Cotton Ball in a Sea of Sandpaper","home_page_url":"https://mickilyn.com","description":"A Cotton Ball in a Sea of Sandpaper","author":{"name":"A Cotton Ball in a Sea of Sandpaper"},"items":[{"id":"https://mickilyn.com/chapter-1/f/where-am-i","html_content":"

A veil of fog had settled into the forest, embracing the trees. The soft, damp piles of leaves, twigs, and roots underneath my feet were familiar. I am here often, this never-ending forest with a tiny cabin in the woods....

","url":"https://mickilyn.com/chapter-1/f/where-am-i","title":"Where am I?","summary":"A veil of fog had settled into the forest, embracing the trees. The soft, damp piles of leaves, twigs, and roots underneath my feet were familiar. I am here often, this never-ending forest with a tiny cabin in the woods....","date_modified":"2025-05-06T16:54:08Z"},{"id":"https://mickilyn.com/chapter-1/f/basic-training","html_content":"

Narcissism. It has affected every aspect of my life. At the age of 21, I joined the United States Air Force. Because I had gone to college to become a Medical Assistant, I was able to enter the military as an A1C, Airman...

","url":"https://mickilyn.com/chapter-1/f/basic-training","title":"Basic Training","summary":"Narcissism. It has affected every aspect of my life. At the age of 21, I joined the United States Air Force. Because I had gone to college to become a Medical Assistant, I was able to enter the military as an A1C, Airman...","date_modified":"2024-12-20T17:54:16Z"},{"id":"https://mickilyn.com/chapter-1/f/warning-graphic","html_content":"

When I cross the river, Jordan

","url":"https://mickilyn.com/chapter-1/f/warning-graphic","title":"Warning: Graphic","summary":"When I cross the river, Jordan","date_modified":"2024-11-12T18:06:38Z"},{"id":"https://mickilyn.com/chapter-1/f/my-christian","html_content":"

Dear sweet Christian ~

","url":"https://mickilyn.com/chapter-1/f/my-christian","title":"My Christian","summary":"Dear sweet Christian ~","date_modified":"2024-11-09T19:45:37Z"},{"id":"https://mickilyn.com/chapter-1/f/kidnapped-by-my-family","html_content":"

I'm not legally an emancipated minor, but I live on my own. I rent a room in a house with two of my girlfriends from youth group at Jesus Chapel Northeast. At the age of 16, I have managed to secure employment at a local...

","url":"https://mickilyn.com/chapter-1/f/kidnapped-by-my-family","title":"Kidnapped By My Own Family","summary":"I'm not legally an emancipated minor, but I live on my own. I rent a room in a house with two of my girlfriends from youth group at Jesus Chapel Northeast. At the age of 16, I have managed to secure employment at a local...","date_modified":"2024-10-27T21:32:54Z"},{"id":"https://mickilyn.com/chapter-1/f/the-sadistic-narcissist","html_content":"

I wanted to talk about the sadistic nature of narcissism, depending on where one is on the spectrum. I owe an entire category to this topic alone.

","url":"https://mickilyn.com/chapter-1/f/the-sadistic-narcissist","title":"The Sadistic Narcissist ","summary":"I wanted to talk about the sadistic nature of narcissism, depending on where one is on the spectrum. I owe an entire category to this topic alone. ","date_modified":"2024-10-23T20:52:04Z"},{"id":"https://mickilyn.com/chapter-1/f/expects-to-be-recognized-as-superior","html_content":"

Truth: This goes along with “exaggerates achievements and talents” in some ways. These behaviors can be subtle and difficult to distinguish between a normal behavior and a passive aggressive haughtiness. We all discuss o...

","url":"https://mickilyn.com/chapter-1/f/expects-to-be-recognized-as-superior","title":"Expects To Be Recognized As Superior","summary":"Truth: This goes along with “exaggerates achievements and talents” in some ways. These behaviors can be subtle and difficult to distinguish between a normal behavior and a passive aggressive haughtiness. We all discuss o...","date_modified":"2024-10-23T20:02:59Z"},{"id":"https://mickilyn.com/chapter-1/f/exaggerates-achievements-and-talents","html_content":"

Exaggerates achievements and talents:

","url":"https://mickilyn.com/chapter-1/f/exaggerates-achievements-and-talents","title":"Exaggerates Achievements and Talents","summary":"Exaggerates achievements and talents:","date_modified":"2024-10-23T19:37:02Z"},{"id":"https://mickilyn.com/chapter-1/f/can-you-hear-me","html_content":"

Truth: I couldn't pinpoint what happened for years. I've lived with these invisible wounds. I was silenced. I have spent years thinking that there is something wrong with me. I've told many people that, "I'm damaged good...

","url":"https://mickilyn.com/chapter-1/f/can-you-hear-me","title":"Can You Hear Me?","summary":"Truth: I couldn't pinpoint what happened for years. I've lived with these invisible wounds. I was silenced. I have spent years thinking that there is something wrong with me. I've told many people that, \"I'm damaged good...","date_modified":"2024-10-23T19:09:53Z"},{"id":"https://mickilyn.com/chapter-1/f/challenge-accepted","html_content":"

Truth: My mother broke my heart. At church, she stands and applauds for me when I sing a solo. She comes across as the most supportive and loving mother to others. Yet when I was staying in her home, things were much, mu...

","url":"https://mickilyn.com/chapter-1/f/challenge-accepted","title":"Challenge Accepted","summary":"Truth: My mother broke my heart. At church, she stands and applauds for me when I sing a solo. She comes across as the most supportive and loving mother to others. Yet when I was staying in her home, things were much, mu...","date_modified":"2024-10-23T18:27:54Z"},{"id":"https://mickilyn.com/chapter-1/f/the-mask","html_content":"

Bringing this into the light in my own way has been incredibly empowering. My goal is not to complain, nor is it to gain sympathy, or to hurt my mother, but to educate myself about the effects of CPTSD. I have chosen thi...

","url":"https://mickilyn.com/chapter-1/f/the-mask","title":"The mask","summary":"Bringing this into the light in my own way has been incredibly empowering. My goal is not to complain, nor is it to gain sympathy, or to hurt my mother, but to educate myself about the effects of CPTSD. I have chosen thi...","date_modified":"2024-10-22T18:00:00Z"},{"id":"https://mickilyn.com/chapter-1/f/counting-tiles","html_content":"

I count constantly. When I'm at the chiropractor's office, I am on a machine that moves me forward and backward. I count how many times the machine moves me forward. Sometimes it's 112 times, sometimes it's 140 times. I'...

","url":"https://mickilyn.com/chapter-1/f/counting-tiles","title":"Counting Tiles","summary":"I count constantly. When I'm at the chiropractor's office, I am on a machine that moves me forward and backward. I count how many times the machine moves me forward. Sometimes it's 112 times, sometimes it's 140 times. I'...","date_modified":"2024-10-22T18:00:00Z"},{"id":"https://mickilyn.com/chapter-1/f/the-sweetest-taboo","html_content":"

I can identify with the quote above. During my lifetime, I have made many attempts to talk about the narcissism that I have experienced with my mother. Unfortunately, I have been met with well-meaning, but discouraging s...

","url":"https://mickilyn.com/chapter-1/f/the-sweetest-taboo","title":"The Sweetest Taboo ","summary":"I can identify with the quote above. During my lifetime, I have made many attempts to talk about the narcissism that I have experienced with my mother. Unfortunately, I have been met with well-meaning, but discouraging s...","date_modified":"2024-10-22T16:58:36Z"},{"id":"https://mickilyn.com/chapter-1/f/i-have-a-confession","html_content":"

My Confession

","url":"https://mickilyn.com/chapter-1/f/i-have-a-confession","title":"I Have A Confession","summary":"My Confession","date_modified":"2024-10-20T19:25:03Z"},{"id":"https://mickilyn.com/chapter-1/f/narcissism-and-scapegoating","html_content":"

My hands are tingling. I am struggling to breathe. My body is buzzing. Slowly, I am becoming aware of pain in my shoulder blades. My heart hurts. My left arm is going numb, yet I can feel pain. I'm profusely sweating. My...

","url":"https://mickilyn.com/chapter-1/f/narcissism-and-scapegoating","title":"Crisis: CPTSD, Narcissism and Scapegoating","summary":"My hands are tingling. I am struggling to breathe. My body is buzzing. Slowly, I am becoming aware of pain in my shoulder blades. My heart hurts. My left arm is going numb, yet I can feel pain. I'm profusely sweating. My...","date_modified":"2024-10-19T19:00:00Z"}]}